I’ve been randomly reflecting on my life and the lives of others. I’m pretty sure you’ve bumped in to people you knew ten years ago and you realize they’re not the same person anymore. Or even worse, they’re exactly the same. It’s always interesting to see where the choices we make take us and change us in the end. I’ve lived a life full of bad choices and I’m sure I’ve still got a bunch left in me to make. I’m just glad I’m saved by grace and forgiven.
All that being said, I will be the first to admit that at times my mind drifts to a place of stardom. A place where everyone knows the words to your song. Where you could stop singing and the crowd would finish the verse. Where people come up to you and say the understand why you make music. You would feel validated for all those late nights in the studio, battle where your heart was pounding out of your chest, shows where only 5 people showed up and only 2 of them listened. You’d. Finally. Be. Acknowledged. Sounds great. But at what cost?
I personally know / have known a few people who have somewhat “made it”. I’ve watched them put the mic down and heard the crowed finish their verse. It gives me goosebumps every time. They tour and actually make a living off doing what they love and I am truly happy for them, but what was the cost? Would I be willing to pay the price? Do people really understand the cost? How far have some went?
Those I know have semi “made it” have no kids. They’ve spent a decade on the road not really calling any place home. They’ve literally sacrificed everything for their dreams. Can you say as much? Would you be willing to do the same? What if the cost was your soul? Katy Perry joked she sold her soul to the devil. Kanye used to walk with Jesus. Now he preaches that there’s “No church in the wild”. Would Eminem have been as explosive without calling his mom out? How many have literally given it all? How many believe the price was worth the reward? How far would you go? That Johnny Cash NIN song always hits me hard and makes me think about how bad I really want it. “and you can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”
So how bad does famous in his own mind SwitchMc want it you ask? Not that bad. Not at that cost. I’m a self diagnosed bipolar nut job so my outlook on life at times can change like the wind but I know one thing for sure. I am blessed. I’m not rich. I’m not famous. My life isn’t perfect. In fact it’s more upside down than anything most days. That does not change the fact that I wake up every day knowing I have more than I ever deserved. More than I ever realistically saw myself having. I will make music till my end because I do love it. I am grateful for everyone who listens and would love a large following. In fact I would love to make a living making music, but at the end of the day, I’m not willing to pay the price. That’s just not in my budget! So here’s to all the music makers trying to find the balance in an industry that demands you give them everything. Keep walking the beam. Peace.